Ken Climo is the greatest disc golfer known to man (living or dead or undead). While playing disc golf, my friends and I often make up things that Ken Climo said or would have said if he was watching us play. As far as I know, Ken Climo has never said any of these things.

This list is for entertainment purposes only.

1. I'm Ken Climo and you're not.
2. Throw your disc as hard as you can every single time.
3. Buy my book.
4. Make putts not excuses.
5. What's second place like?
6. I'm in your head.
7. I've aced every hole on this course.
8. It's lonely at the top, so lonely.
9. Mom! What's for dinner?
10. There's no place like home!
11. I was born on a disc. That's right. I'm an alien.
12. I can make a putt from anywhere in this zip code.
13. I need to let that airliner pass before I throw this disc.
14. I could beat you using only a dinner plate.
15. My favorite food is pancakes. They look like discs.
16. I've got to go. Dinner's ready.
17. I can throw a disc 300 feet with my teeth.
18. I make my own nicknames.
19. I'll be back in a little bit. I have one of those oversized, novelty checks to cash.
20. If you don't shut up, I'll make your face into a disc.
21. What's better than "awesome"? That's what I am.
22. Wind isn't something that affects my discs.
23. If I hit a tree, it's because I wanted to.
24. Ken Climo never talks in the third person. He hates when people do that.
25. The whole world is my disc golf course.
26. You make your own luck. I don't need luck.
27. It's good to have fans. Sometimes I'll bounce my disc off spectators to get through a tight dogleg.
28. Innova didn't put my name on a line of discs for no reason.
29. I can throw a disc out of a black hole.
30. Practice until your hands bleed and then practice some more.
31. I have a disc golf basket in my bedroom.
32. All my shots are perfect when they leave my hand. It's the world that messes them up after I've thrown them.
33. I threw that disc with my eyes closed.
34. I have a cannon for an arm. My other arm is a Swiss Army knife.
35. You can't beat me. You can only hope to get my autograph.
36. I don't have to practice anymore. My game is pure muscle memory at this point.
37. I can kill a man at 100 feet with a Wraith.
38. I only use my powers for good. If I used them for evil, the entire world would be in danger.
39. I'm not the Tiger Woods of disc golf. I'm ten times the Tiger Woods of disc golf.
40. I once threw a disc marker 1,000 feet uphill.
41. For most shots I use the X-step, but I have one shot where my footwork looks like John Hancock's signature on the Constitution.
42. I've never lost a disc. I've had a few run away because they couldn't handle the pressure of being in my bag.
43. I didn't invent disc golf. I perfected it.
44. All you guys are playing disc golf completely wrong.
45. I once threw my disc across Florida. It took twelve throws. It was windy that day.
46. I wasn't born to play disc golf. That's something I picked up later.
47. South of the Equator, my disc spins the other way.
48. I like what you did with that shot. However, instead of throwing it 30 feet into the woods, I would have parked it under the basket.
49. If you throw a disc hard enough, it will go back in time. I sometimes use that method to send myself messages in the past.
50. I don't understand how Tom Cruise got the lead role in the disc golf movie Valkyrie. I don't think he even plays disc golf.
51. Throw your disc toward the basket.