What is Catfish?

• Catfish is unlike anything that has ever been or will ever be. If somebody attempts to emulate, Catfish will evolve. There is and always will be but one Catfish.

• Catfish can be used as any part of speech when appropriate.

• Catfish is generally a good thing. There are no evil Catfish.

• Catfish is proactive and reality based.

What are the do's and don't's of Catfish?

• Never ask Tony about Catfish.

• You may wish Catfish well by saying you hope Catfish gets some.

• If a person wishes you well in the above manner, it's good form to respond in kind.

• In a Catfish situation, whoever gets the last Catfish wins. This is the only Catfish game there is. It's all well and good to attempt to win this game, but one should not try too hard. And, if you beat me, you are trying too hard.

• Do not arbitrarily add to Catfish. Catfish is a well-defined and closely guarded thing. Catfish grows as it does and it is not your place to modify Catfish in any way.

• Don't waste time trying to explain Catfish to the uninitiated. Catfish will figure it out.

• Don't be afraid of Catfish. There is nothing to fear.

Disclaimers/Caveats/Notes

• Not everybody understands what Catfish is all about. And, that's ok.

• There are those who would like to destroy Catfish. We will not let them.

• We reserve the right to kick people out of Catfish. If they continue to Catfish, they will be known as False Catfish.

• Joe can never be Catfish. He didn't take the initial test snub well.

• "Uh huh." is a pretty sorry response to "Catfish!".

• Russ is not the one and true catfish incarnate. (Despite his claims otherwise.)

Catfish Food

• catfish sketti
• catfish loaf
• ground up catfish with cheese and onions
• catfish yogurt
• catfish ice cream
• catfish soda
• catfish quiche
• catfish salsa
• catfish pot pie
• catfish salad dressing
• catfish cake icing
• catfish pancakes
• catfish cream pie
• catfish chili
• catfish tea
• catfish milkshake
• whipped catfish
• catfish flavored milk
• catfish gut soup
• catfish mustard
• catfish scooby snacks
• catfish gum
• catfish dumplings
• catfish pizza

Catfish Test for Time Travelers

If you meet a person who claims to be from the future, here's a simple test to see if he is telling the truth.

• Ask him to tell you a story about the future.

• If the story doesn't mention Catfish, he can't be from the future. In the future, Catfish will be so big it will be mentioned in every story.

Catfish Award for Excellence

This award is the highest Catfish award. Accomplishing something special is the only way to obtain it.

Winners

• Keith

  For using people's heads in a most excellent fashion.

The Anti-Catfish

Sir Fancy Pants is the Anti-Catfish. He is everything Catfish is not. He would destroy Catfish if he could. However, if properly identified, he has no power over Catfish.

Enemies of Catfish

The cat is the natural enemy of catfish.

Catfish Sayings

• Catfish is as Catfish does.
• Catfish can do anything Catfish wants.