What follows is a list of rules of thumb I generally follow. These rules have served me well.

1. Never do anything that would qualify for an appearance on the Jerry Springer Show.
2. Always get enough sleep.
3. Never run in the rain.
4. Never order a dish from a menu with a name that is 6 words or longer.
5. Never make up rules about spoons (spoon rules are absurd).
6. Never hit on waitresses.
7. Pizza announcements must be made twice.
8. Don't make rules about everything.
9. Don't use the word "significant" when the word "substantial" will suffice.
10. In absence of plans, plans are made.
11. Not all rules need be documented.
12. If a rule doesn't work, remove it from use.