What follows is a list of rules of thumb I generally follow. These rules have served me well.

• Never do anything that would qualify for an appearance on the Jerry Springer Show.
• Always get enough sleep.
• Never run in the rain.
• Never order a dish from a menu with a name that is 6 words or longer.
• Never make up rules about spoons (spoon rules are absurd).
• Never hit on waitresses.
• Pizza announcements must be made twice.
• Don't make rules about everything.
• Don't use the word "significant" when the word "substantial" will suffice.
• In absence of plans, plans are made.
• Not all rules need be documented.
• If a rule doesn't work, remove it from use.